Shadows of the Night
by Busybelinda
Summary: “Last night I slept with Pansy” he says pausing “and I thought of you the whole time. I don’t want to be thinking of you when I sleep with Pansy, Granger”. She gasps and sees the despair in his eyes. ONESHOT. DHr.


**Disclaimer:** If only I could own Draco. I would lock him in my cupboard and keep him for my every need. I don't own the characters for this story. They're all the product of J.K Rowling's wonderful mind.

**Dedication:** This is actually kind of silly because Emma doesn't like D/Hr, but this is the first thing I've written in a long time so I'm just dedicating it to her anyway.

Emma aka Professional Scatterbrain: You've listened to my whining about certain people who do my head in for over a year now. Thanks heaps. Frankie says thanks too! (god knows its stopped him having to listen to me as much) Also I have a confession to make: I still want to marry Duke in the deep dark centres of my heart. Haha.

**Thanks to:** Much appreciation to Krisa. Thanks heaps!

**Summary: **"Last night I slept with Pansy" he says pausing "and I thought of you the whole time. I don't want to be thinking of you when I sleep with Pansy, Granger". She gasps and sees the despair in his eyes. ONE-SHOT. D/Hr

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**SHADOWS AND THE NIGHT**

_The warm earth still guards their last secrets_

_-Vicente Huidobro  
_

Hermione knows Draco is unhappy. She looks at him everyday in the Great Hall, she studies his face in potions and analyses his actions in Care of Magical Creatures. She wonders why she can see despair in his eyes when ever she captures his gaze, but she knows there is nothing she can possibly do to change the despair to hope, more importantly she doesn't want to do anything. She enjoys seeing him suffer.

Hermione is not cruel. She is passionate. Passionate towards her friends, her family, her side, Draco has never appreciated the passion. She doesn't sympathisewith Draco because of the past. Because he called her mudblood and hexed her friends and because he hates her as much as she hates him.

She hates him with a passion.

Maybe that's why Draco and Hermione are in Professor Snape's classroom scrubbing the remnants of the potion they weren't supposed to blow up.

"It was Grangers fault" he cries when Snape orders them back after class to clean the mess. "She was the one not paying attention to the potion, she was too busy looking at Weasley" ever the spoilt brat, Draco doesn't want to be here when he could be practicing on his new broom.

Hermione's face turns bright red, Snape notices and fights back the urge to tell her she's a righteous Gryffindor who needs to calm down. It's unethical of course;to say something like that to a student would cause an uproar, so he turns back to Draco and lashes out as if Draco's a Gryffindor.

Draco takes a step back in surprise as the professor tells him he was just as much to blame and would indeed be helping Granger clean up the mess they both made even if it means he has to stay here all night. He emphasizes the word _both_. Maybe because he thinks Draco won't understand why he's being punished or maybe because he knows it will infuriate them both to be classed together. Neither of the students dare ask what he means by the innuendo. In any case Snape won't answer.

The professor leaves with a warning that he will be back and if they are caught using wands a week's detention will insure.

Draco watches the heavy door slam shut and closes his eyes. He's so tired. He hears her moving behind him and by the time he works up the energy to turn around she is already working. He watches her scrub. She works furiously, like she is determined to do this to her best ability.

He takes his time getting down on his knees to help her. He feels sick as he takes the other cloth from beside her. He wonders what his father would think if he was here to see him doing a servants job "and doing it next to a mudblood none the less" He dips the cloth into the bucket and reminds himself his father isn't here to see this. He wrings the cloth of the excess water and wishes his father was here to see this because that would mean his father is alive. He doesn't notice that he is still wringing the cloth. Granger notices and laughs out loud; she thinks it's because he doesn't know how to clean properly. She doesn't realize it's because he is in another world. A world where his father is still his father.

He looks up for a moment startled because he has forgotten she is there. For a moment she sees pure fear spread across his face but it is quickly replaced by the despair she's used to seeing on him. He scowls at her and she decides he looks most handsome when he's angry.

They work for an hour. The potion is difficult to get off. It won't come off the floors, so they scrub until it does, until their hands can barely move but they still have so much to do. They haven't even started on the walls. Professor Snape comes back and takes pity on Draco. "You've served your punishment" he tells them "I'll clean the rest".

They stand and Hermione casts a spell to get rid of the dirty water and the bucket and another to clean the cloths. Draco stares at her. Snape turns to his young student "you can go" he snarls and she immediately makes her way to the door. Draco follows suet but is stopped by the professor.

"Not you Draco, I need a word". Hermione looks at them when she reaches the door and they both look back at her, daring her to say anything. She doesn't, she only slips out without a sound.

Outside the classroom Hermione breathes a sigh of relief, glad that it is all over, she leans against the wall because she feels like she is ready to collapse. Her punishment was hard work. She closes her eyes for a moment enjoying the peace of the dungeons late at night. No one is there to break the silence that is until she hears Snape's voice echoing out through the door. It's not fully shut and she can hear exactly what their saying. For a moment she had forgotten they were there.

She should go back to her dormitory. She knows its wrong to listen but she does because Snape's voice is laced with something she has never heard come from him before. She thinks its concern. Concern and worry and all of a sudden she feels sorry for him because he sounds like he is carrying a large burden on his shoulders. He sounds a hundred years old. She quietly manoeuvres herself to the small crack between the door and the wall and looks in at the student and teacher.

Snape is slumped down on a chair looking up at Draco, his eyes pleading with the young boy "Draco I need you to listen to me, your not sleeping again are you?" Draco turns his head away, breaking eye contact. "Your not taking the sleeping potion I gave you, your falling behind in class do you realizethat? Your health is in jeopardy here Draco. I know you don't want to but I beg you to take the sleeping potion"

The professor stops and Draco turns back to him his eyes wide. "How can I take the potion when I close my eyes and all I can see is my father, I don't want to see him, I want to forget him and I can't forget him if I sleep".

The professor takes a deep breath and stands up "your slipping away from us all Draco and not only because your not sleeping. You're slipping away and I don't know how to save you". The professor takes one more desperate look at Draco and turns to the door.

Hermione shrinks into the darkness as he passes by. He doesn't see her because he is too busy trying to get away from Draco. He doesn't want to be near him any longer because if he is he may just grab the boy and hold him in his arms and shake him until he understands he is better without his father.

When she is sure Snape has gone she turns around again and looks back into the classroom and for a moment her heart stops because he is crying and Draco Malfoy is not supposed to cry. But he is. He's sobbing so much that he can't stand. He slips to the floor and curls up in a ball. And cries and cries. Hermione thinks he looks like the world is about to end but she doesn't know that his world is crumbling and falling apart all around him. He stays there for a long time and she stays and watches. She's not sure why but she just does. Soon his tears are dried up and he lays there on his back staring at the ceiling. She wonders what he is thinking and knows she will never find out.

Before she has a chance to realize what is happening he turns around on his side and stares straight at the door. He sees her. She takes a sharp breath as he stands up in anger. She can't help but think he is going to kill her and she prepares to run if he makes any sudden movements. But he doesn't, he only stares at her like he always does. Like he hates her.

"Fuck off Granger" he says quietly.

She tries to explain what she's doing "I just… I was just" but she can't find the right words.

It doesn't matter though because he interrupts her "I said fuck off" his voice is threatening. She turns around and runs.

She runs back to the common room and Harry and Ron are there waiting for her. She lies and says Snape kept them for longer then she thought he would and then she lies again and says she's tired. She walks to the dormitory and tries to sleep, but she spends most of the night staring at the drapes around Lavenders bed.

The next day dread fills her as she walks to the Great Hall for breakfast. Harry and Ron don't notice or notice and don't say anything. When she gets there Draco is already sitting and she slips a nervous glance to him, he sees but he pretends he hasn't.

Days pass and Draco doesn't even look at Hermione. He pretends nothing happened and she likes it that way because she doesn't know how she would cope if they weren't pretending.

One night after a prefect meeting she is getting ready to go and sees him slam the wall in frustration. Pansy's there and they're fighting in hushed whispers. She wonders why but doesn't wait to find out.

* * *

The summer holidays come and go and she begins her final year at Hogwarts. She walks around with a silly grin on her face because next year she knows she'll be doing something new and exciting. She's not sure what, maybe she'll become a full member of The Order or maybe she'll study to be an Auror, whatever she does she wants to help in the War.

The New Year brings new responsibilities and she is made Head Girl. She pins the shiny badge on her robes with pride every morning and admires herself in the mirror. She feels important. Draco is Head Boy. Every Tuesday night they meet in the library and discuss any matters that need to be dealt with. The meetings are hurried because they both don't want to be stuck in each others presence longer then they have to.

They never mention what happened that night when Draco cried but he seems to want to punish Hermione for seeing him like that. He calls her mudblood double what he used to and throws her books off the table when she is not looking. She remembers what Snape said about Draco slipping away and she knows it's true so, she doesn't say anything to him.

He has black circles under his eyes and his hands shake when he hands her the patrol roster. He stares at nothing for minutes on end and mutters under his breath as he walks. He's still with Pansy. She sees them walking together and Pansy holds off him like she is a decorated wall-hanging, frilly and loud. He is always turned away from her. He looks like its torture to be with her and she wonders why he stays.

One Tuesday after their meeting he stands quickly and the next thing she knows he has fallen to the ground. She rushes up to him and kneels down trying to wake him from his un-conscious state. "Draco" she cries forgetting he is a Malfoy. He sits up after a while and she tells him she'll take him to the infirmary.

"No" he cries in panic "I'm fine". She knows he's lying but she doesn't question him. She helps him up and he tries to walk but stumbles and she's at his side supporting him.

"I just need to lie down" he tells her softly. She shakes her head "I have to get Madame Pomfrey, you can't get back on your own".

"Please don't get the teachers. Can you just find Blaise" he asks, his eyes are pleading and she wants to cry.

"I don't know where Blaise is". He almost smiles, but can't find the energy to. "He'll be in the potions classroom, just tell him what happened and he'll come". She nods and turns rushing to the potions room. Draco watches her go, wincing he sinks down leaning against a bookshelf waiting for Blaise. He closes his eyes and almost immediately the largely needed sleep overcomes him.

Hermione reaches the potions room and cautiously opens the door wondering why Blaise would be in there at this time. The answer is apparent as soon as the door is open. The moans and groans fill the space and she can feel the hot air surround her, engulf her as steps into the sex filled room. Her eyes travel to front of the room where a blonde is sitting atop of the desk, facing the front of the blackboard. As Blaise thrusts into the girl, she can see his face covered in shadows as he moves past the girls shoulder trying to get as deep into the beauty as possible.

She almost turns to leave, but Draco, in the library reminds her of why she is here. She blushes as Blaise's eyes settle on her. Always the calm Slytherin, Blaise looks at her and continues his thrusting. In less then a seconde the blonde is screaming and arching her back to Blaise. The boy stares at Granger and with a lastthrust he too is screaming.

Blaise's lazy, calm voice reaches her a moment later. "And what can I do for you Head Girl" he asks as he hugs the blonde close to him, still nestled between her legs. Hermione watches as he runs his hands down the girls back.

"It's Draco" she says, realizing, too late, that for the secondtime this night she's uttered his name. Her eyes snap back to Blaise as she watches him stiffen.

"What's happened to him" the dark boy asks with the hint of the beginning of panic.

"He fainted, I don't think he can get back to his room on his own. He's in the library". She stops and as an after thought she adds "He asked me to get you for him". Blaise's face hardens. The blonde girl turns around from where she is buried in his chest and Hermione bites back a gasp as she gets the first glimpse of the girls face. The girl is a third year Ravenclaw, a girl four years Blaise's junior. Blaise bends to the girl and whispers to her before moving away.

Hermione again embarrassed turns away "I'll go and wait outside for you then" she tells him and without an answer she steps out of the room, shutting the door firmly behind her. She waits outside and within half a minute Blaise passes her, already rushing to the library. Hermione rushes to catch up with him. As they climb the stairs Blaise talks to her.

'Draco's my god-brother" he tells her. Unsure of why he has extended the information she concentrates on walking fast enough to keep up with his large strides.

She wonders if it was Lucius who christened Blaise.

When they reach the library he turns to her and she leads him to Draco. Theyreach him and there huddled against a bookshelf is Draco, asleep and dreaming. A nightmare. He is whimpering and thrashing as if he is in mortal danger. Hermione closes her eyes not wanting to see him like this. "Shit" she hears Blaise mutter beside her. He reaches down and nudges Draco awake; for a moment he stares at Blaise, communicating something to the boy. Hermione watches the exchange between them with awe wondering how they can have a conversation without words. Then Draco looks at her. They stare at each other for a moment both wondering why she is still here.

She realizes she just did it too. She just had a conversation without words with Draco Malfoy of all people.

He looks back to Blaise. "Help me to my room" he says. They boy nods and helps Draco up. They begin moving away, Draco holding Blaise tightly. Unsure of what to do Hermione picks both her and Draco's books and follows the Sytherins.

They sink lower and lower into the school and it seems the gods are with them today because they don't meet anyone. She shivers and rubs her arms because it's not just cold so far down, it's frightening. Finally they reach a large painting of a dragon and its tamer and she thinks how fitting it is. Draco utters the password and they stumble in, Hermione stands back not knowing whetherto enter. Blaise turns to her. "Well" he says "aren't you going to come in Head Girl?" She steps inside and looks around cautiously, moving to his desk to drop his books.

Her eyes settle on the assortment of pictures standing in frames. There's one of his mother and his father, taken she presumes on their wedding day. Narcissa looks different to what Hermione remembers. Hermione realizes it's because she is smiling. Next to it is a picture of Pansy and Hermione wonders why Draco has it. Pansy looks almost pretty in the picture, she is moving her hand beckoning the outside world in, her face looks like it is hiding a secret and she is giggling like she understands that Hermione wants to know what it is. She wonders why there is no picture of Blaise but realizes he isn't the type to want something like that.

Blaise has already put Draco to bed, whispering something to Draco before telling him loudly to sleep. "He'll be fine now" he says to Hermione when he turns back. "You can go", he utters no thank you or shows no appreciation to her. Hermione turns to leave and just as the portrait door swings open Draco calls to her.

"Granger" his voice is shaky, barely audible. "Don't go telling everyone about this or you'll regret it" he says.

* * *

The next morning he isn't in the Grand Hall for breakfast. She isn't worried, she'll see him in Care of Magical Creatures.

Hagrid has just gotten some Kappa's, he's very excited about it because it took him so long to get them sent over from Japan. He is excited about showing Hermione, mainly because she unlike others has already been told all about them. He watches her come down with Harry and Ron and he ushers them over. "I got em" he tells them as his excitement escalates. "The Kappa's." he looks at Hermione but she seems distracted. She is looking over at the group of Slytherins who are making their way down the hill.

Ron nudges Hermione and she turns with apology "Sorry Hagrid" she says "You were saying".

Hagrid looks down at her "I was just saying I got them Kappa's; they're real sneaky and all, but it's in their nature" he smiles proudly and she looks up and smiles back

'That's great Hagrid" she says softly. The group of Slytherins are passing them now.

"I went past his room this morning and I knocked for five minutes and no one answered" Goyle tells Pansy.

"You told me already you idiot" she says angrily "I heard you and I said I don't know where he is, we'll just have to go past his room again after class, I'm just as worried as you but there's nothing we can do".

"If only we had his password" Millicent suggests.

"I already told you he didn't tell me it" Pansy tells Millicent. She seems a little hurt as she says it. Like she wishes he had told her.

Hermione knows they're talking about Draco and she also knows his password. She can still remember it from when he whispered it the night before. She turns back to Hagrid. "I just remembered I left my text book in my room. Can I go and get it Hagrid, I won't be long?" she asks.

Hagrid lets her go. She turns and begins to run as fast as she can. Harry and Ron watch her go. Hagrid has already begun an animated tale of the kappa's settling in to their new home.

Hermione runs to Draco's room. She runs and runs afraid that when she gets there he may be unconscious again. The man in the painting raises an eyebrow when she stops in front of it to catch her breath but he says nothing as she gives him the password.

The portrait swings open and she rushes through to his room. For a moment she thinks he's not there and panic clutches at her. She shouldn't be feeling panic for Draco Malfoy. She hears a small noise and she turns to it and it's him. He's sitting in the corner, clutching his knees to his chest. His face is pale and he's rocking back and fourth. He is whimpering.

She rushes over to him and she shakes his arm;He looks at her for a moment and then he grabs her around the waist and pulls her to him;He buries his face between her breasts and at that moment it doesn't matter that she is Hermione Granger the mudblood. It only matters that she's there. That someone's there.

He starts to cry and her hands move to the side of his face, she doesn't move them and hopes that's enough comfort for him, her instincts to heal overpower her. For a few minutes, as they sit there she loves Draco Malfoy;she forgets the hate and the pain he causes;but then reality comes back into focus and she remembers who she is and more importantly who he is. She gasps and his head moves away from her chest but he doesn't let go of her waist because if he does he may be lost forever. She's the only thing keeping him grounded to reality. His chin rests on her stomach and he looks up into her eyes.

They stare into each others eyes for a moment but then she turns away from his gaze. If she looks at him for any longer the awkwardness of the position they're in will come to light. She finds the courage to talk. "I wanted to make sure you were ok" she tells him "But you'renot I have to get Snape or Madame Pomfrey".

"No" he says as he moves his hands from her waist. "No" he says again. His voice sounds broken, like he has no energy to really fight her; But it doesn't matter because she's not going to do anything he doesn't want at the moment. Not when he's in this state

"What happened to you?" she asks. He shivers and she notices.

He moves his head up and looks into her eyes again "I saw him, I saw my father" he says and then turns his body to the side away from her. She waits for him to say something more but he doesn't. He never offers any explanation as to what happened.

Soon, she leaves because she doesn't know what else to do. He won't look at her, he pretends she's not there, embarrassment has overcome him, so she does the only thing she can think of, she runs. She runs all the way back to Care of Magical Creatures.

Harry and Ron are watching out for her when she gets back and she lies and says she took so long because she couldn't find the book. Ron says not to worry "it's easily replaced" he tells her and smiles.

She tries to smile back but she can't.

* * *

The week passes along with a gust of wind that officially welcomes winter. During double potions on Thursday Draco stares at her. She pretends not to notice.

On Friday he looks at her again and she just turns away, because if she does look at him her heart starts to beat too loudly.

Tuesday comes. She doesn't want to go to her meeting with Draco but she knows she has to. She's Head Girl and it is one of her duties. She swallows any fear and goes to the library like she always does. He's already there. He's staring at a book not reading it, just staring. She puts down her book bag and he looks up.

Before she has a chance to sit down, he stands and moves to her, he grabs her elbow tightly. "We need to talk" he says and she yelps as he begins to drag her to the restricted section. Madame Pince says nothing, they are both allowed there because they are the Head Boy and Girl.

He takes her to a dark corner and pushes her up against the wall. "Malfoy what do you want? Leave me alone" she cries. She's scared. He looks at her and she stares straight back. "You don't scare me Malfoy" she saysbut she's wrong. He does scare her and even as she says it she can hear her voice waver.

His look softens. "I'm not here to scare you Granger". She narrows her eyes and he can't help himself, he moves his hand slowly to her face and before she can protest he's tracing her bottom lip with the pad of his thumb. "Why didn't I ever notice how beautiful you are" he talks to himself and she takes a sharp breath. Her heart is beating so loudly she's sure he can hear it.

"I have a confession to make" frustration weaves through his voice and her senses are awakened. "Since you found me in my room I haven't been able to stop thinking about you" he pauses. "Last night Pansy and I slept together and the whole time I thought of you"

She thought he was going to yell at her for going into his room the night before and now he tells her this.

"I don't want to be thinking of you when I sleep with Pansy" he tells her "I should only be thinking of Pansy".

He looks at her, waiting for her to say something. Daring her to say something. She doesn't. She only stares at him and in a rush he has crushed his mouth to hers and he is kissing her. She whimpers and he desperately pushes her up to the near bookshelf. He's trying to get as close to her as possible.

When Draco kisses her, Hermione doesn't know what to do. He's hurting her and she whimpers because she is afraid and then before she can pull away he is pushing her roughly against the bookshelf and his hands are moving underneath her shirt and rubbing her stomach and he's pushing her so hard that she can't get away. When he starts to move his hand up to her breast she shoves him with all her strength. He stumbles away and she falls because he is no longer supporting her weight. She looks up at him from the ground and her eyes are brimming with tears which given the chance will fall.

He looks down at her. She looks dishevelled and vulnerable. Her shirt has ridden up, she's shaking and any minute now he's sure she'll cry. In a flash he is down next to her and he's pulling her forehead to his. She cries out as there foreheads touch violently. She sees stars for a second and then she looks at his eyes because she has no where else to look and he looks sad. He draws their faces as close as possible until all she can breathe is him. "Please Granger, please don't say anything. I'm sorry"

She doesn't say anything. Maybe because she knows he is sorry, maybe because she doesn't think her voice can work. She looks up at him through long lashes and he pulls away from her as if burnt.

"I'll make the patrol rosters myself this week" he tells her, already back in a working mode, back in the head boy mode. She hears him mutter to himself and she watches as he turns and flees from the restricted section.

Girls try to catch his eye, as he leaves because they all want to bed the elusive Draco Malfoy but he avoids contact with them. At least this month. At least when she won't leave his mind. At least while she is his saving grace.

He rushes to the safety of his room where he hides under his blanket, hoping that under the protective layer he has created for himself it will be impossible for thoughts of her to reach him. He is wrong.

Meanwhile Hermione tries to wipe her tears, as she heads back to her books collecting them up. Madame Pince turns a blind eye to her cries, as do the rest of the library. No one is willing to console her because no one knows her. She must seem so elusive, so exclusive. Being friends with Harry restricted her to that.

As she leaves all she can feel is Draco's hands on her, his kiss on her lips, his warm breath against her face. It's embedded in her and she's not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

That night she tries to sleep but she tosses and turns all night long. She can't get him out of her head. The thought of his lips plagues her all night long and she tries to push it away, to forget that Draco Malfoy tried to kiss her.

On Thursday Harry looks at her and tells her she tired. She gives him a shaky laugh for show. "Oh it's nothing Harry, just an overload of work at the moment. You know how it is". Harry doesn't but since it's Hermione he understands.

The weekend passes in a flourish of friendly laughs and games. Hermione almost beats Ron at chess but he wins in the end.

The next Tuesday, she doesn't go to her meeting with Malfoy. Instead she pulls out her worn copy of Hogwarts: A History and reads.

On Wednesday she eats her meals in her room and avoids the head boy. That night she has a dream about him. He is kissing her breasts and she is calling his name out to the heavens. His lips move downward and her breathing is heavy and laboured.

She wakes just as dream Draco tugs down her school tights. She sits up in her bed. Sweat is pouring down her face. "No" she says loudly to the darkened room. "No, I don't want him to kiss me". She lay's back down and spends the night trying to convince herself that she doesn't want him. When she emerges from her room shaky with lack of sleep she hasn't really convinced herself.

In the afternoon Hermione and Draco pass each other in one of the corridors and just as she nears him,he grabs her arm and pulls her into an empty classroom.

"You didn't come to our meeting yesterday" he towers over her.

"No" she says agreeing, because it's not a deniable issue.

His tone of voice betrays nothing and he speaks to her like nothing has happened between them. He takes a step towards her "Why?" he asks.

Hermione doesn't know how to answer him. Should she tell him she's scared of him,yet she wants him to kiss her? She looks away trying to avoid his eyes because she can't think of a suitable answer. He grabs her chin and forces her to look at him.

They stare at each other a moment and then she feels it. A hand travelling under her robes. She whimpers slightly and tries to grab his hand, to batter it away but he is insistent and stronger then her.

Her eyes widen as he moves so close to her that she wants to scream, but she doesn't. He pulls away and captures her hips between his hands holding her in place so she can't move away.

"We need to work out the patrols, we didn't do it properly the week before" he pauses and the reason why rushes into their minds. He grimaces and continues "and we didn't do it yesterday, we'll have to do it tonight after the prefect meeting and you have to come. What would Dumbledore say if her found out you weren't fulfilling your head girl duties?"

Her eyes narrow. "You wouldn't" she grinds her teeth together in anger.

"If you don't come tonight I will" he says. But even without the threat she knows she'll come. He steps away from her and she hurries away,his voice still echoing though her head.

During the meeting he acts as he always does, they go through business as usual. Weeks pass and he says nothing to her about what's happened. Sometimes she thinks he is looking at her and sometimes she knows she'slooking at him.

She decides Draco Malfoy is good at pretending.

* * *

The Christmas break comes and she stays behind along with Ron and Harry. Draco's mother is visiting Lucius' sister in Denmark, so he stays behind. Blaise is no longer staring at the blonde third year but instead is casting Draco some openly worried looks and she knows why. Draco is once again looking as he did when he fainted.

On Christmas Eve Hermione and Ron have an argument; Crookshanks has ripped up the paper Ron was planning to use to wrap presents. She roams the corridors at midnight, crying and just by chance she stumbles across Draco in an alcove on the 5th floor. He is standing beside the window staring out to the frost, bathed in the light of the full moon. His hair almost as radiant as the luminous satellite in the sky.

Her breathing quickens and before she realizeswhat she is doing she calls out his name. The empty corridor echoes softly for a few moments. He turns quickly, his eyes wide with surprise, which almost takes over the despair she'sused to seeing.

His face relaxes as he sees who it is and then he frowns when he notices her tears. Though rapidly drying her red eyes act as a giveaway to what she has spent the last hour doing.

They stare at each other for a moment neither knowing how to proceed. Finally after what seems like an eternity too long she breaks the silence.

"What are you doing?" she asks, more confident around him then she'sbeen for a long time.

Draco shrugs "I couldn't sleep". He knows she knows why. She knows heknows. And she doesn't mind because she has a premonition there's not going to be much pretending tonight. At least not on her part. He beckons her over and she, disregarding the small amount of distrust stirring in the pit of her stomach joins him. She gazes into the night sky. Draco presses his finger into the glass pointing downward. She follows his direction and sees Blaise sitting with the blonde third year in the midst of the snow. The girl is sitting on a rock as Blaise paces in front of her. She is laughing and he is smiling.

"That girl" Hermione says softly and Draco interrupts.

"Calandra" he says

She nods and continues. "She must be only 13 or 14 and Blaise must at least be 17". She raises her eyebrows and turns to look at him.

"18 actually, but little matters to Blaise, age won't come in the way of something he wants". Draco says and smiles slightly.

"Blaise is your god-brother" she remarks and he turns to her in sheer surprise.

"Not many people know that" he says.

"Blaise told me, that night you" she pauses "you, you know, when you fell" she stammers.

Draco turns back to the window reaching into his pocket he pulls out a long thin wizard cigarette. "I'm not meant to" he says regarding the noxious object "but you won't tell will you?" She shakes her head and he mutters a quiet spell which lights it. Soon they are surrounded by thin green coloured smoke.

"Did you know the colour of the smoke of a wizard's cigarette is supposed to tell you, your inner feelings?" he says "This is the first time in almost two years my smoke hasn't been black". He doesn't need to say it. She does the math, it's the first time since his father died.

Soon the scene through the window has changed from innocent fun to intimacy and she averts her eyes to Draco's hand leaning against the window sill.

"Are you frightened" she asks her voice soft.

He turns to her and she faces him. His eyes are comforting in an odd, cold sense. He grinds the cigarette onto the window sill and then looks back at her, with such raw emotion she wants to run. "Yes" he says.

To Hermione it's that simple. It doesn't matter nor does it interest her as to why he is frightened. It only matters that he is.

Her hands are shaking but even so she reaches up and cups his face in her hands. She doesn't allow her self to step too close in case she never lets go.

"I wanted you to kiss me" she confesses "after you came to me in the library. I want you to want me. I want your kisses".

He doesn't think he only bends to her ready to step close. Ready to kiss her but she pulls away and without an explanation or a meaningful look she turns and races back into the shadows leaving Draco with the realization that her touch has burnt him.

Her touch has given him feeling.

* * *

In the morning he rushes to her when she and her friends come down for breakfast. "Headmaster wants us Granger" he tells her quietly.

Harry narrows his eyes "It's Christmas Malfoy, what could possibly be so urgent".

The blonde shrugs and turns back to Hermione. She stares at him for a moment trying to decide what he really wants. She nods at Harry and Ron and follows Draco out of the corridor.

He leads her up stairs and through corridors until they're in one of the high classrooms, which are no longer used. The ones where the only furniture is telescopes and miniatures planets rotating in the air.

He turns to her and before she can say anything he is at her side bringing her mouth softly to his. The kiss is gentle and nice and he is careful with her. It makes it hard for her to focus. He pulls back and smiles at her and then he leaves the room. Hermione stares at the door for a moment trying to catch her breath before she too exits the room.

It takes her 20 minutes to find her way back to the Great Hall. She smiles. Maybe that's how Draco wanted it.

She spends the next few nights dreaming fevered thoughts about the Slytherin. The tangle of her sheets and her deep breathing is the only indication of the nasty thoughts that occupy her mind after the kiss.

When, on a dark day at the beginning of January, he passes her in the hall, Pansy Parkinson on his arm, he locks eyes with her and she makes a quick decision to herself. One that will change everything. "Malfoy" she calls

He turns around startled and Pansy attached to him swings around too. Noticing who has disturbed her moment with _her_ Draco, Pansy narrows her eyes and does what she can do best.

She glares.

Ignoring Pansy's invisible daggers, the witch turns her full attention to Draco. "There's a problem with the patrol rosters that needs to be sorted". He stares at her suspiciously, wondering if maybe she is angry at him and she all too aware of what he's thinking adds a soft, pleading "now".

Draco detaches himself from Pansy and follows Hermione down to the dungeons. She leads him to the south end where there is an old staff room. It is furnished in all the colours of the houses and a fireplace sits desolate and unused for years. The room is a perfect harmony of inter-house unity and Draco knows Hermione hasn't picked this room for any odd reason.

As she turns from where she has cast a locking and silencing spell, she takes a few steps and is in front of him and he takes deep breaths as she places her hands on his face and as she draws their mouths together neither can breathe.

And then their lips meet and they know this is the most horrible, terrible thing they've ever done in the whole of their small miserable lives but that doesn't stop them. Because for Draco by doing this he isn't remembering his father; And Hermione, always wanting to be a healer, never wanting to see anyone in pain, knows that this is an escape. She doesn't think the reason is because her heart started to beat just a little faster when she saw him with Pansy.

They don't stop.

They don't stop until they're screaming and hissing in the most primal way possible.

And as she pulls away from him and as she feels his lips on her shoulder,the realization and the horror of what they've just done, dawns on her. It feels like a blow to the face, she can already feel tears welling, guilt crushing. He is still shaking as she pushes him away and as she dresses she knows she's just had a taste of an ecstasy she's all to afraid of becoming addicted to.

Hermione goes to leave but he grabs her arm pulling her away from the door. She blushes at his nakedness, "thank-you" he mutters to her, avoiding her eyes. She shrugs not knowing what the gratitude is for. More importantly at this stage not caring.

The second time they reach a torrid release together she looks into his eyes and see that this is a relief from the real world for him.

What she doesn't realizeis that when he sleeps with her, with Mudblood Granger it is one step easier to forget his father. Inch by inch he draws closerto sanity in his own world of insanity.

The third time they find themselves together it is at the back of the library, inches from where Draco had fainted months before. He pushes her against a bookshelf and pulls her mouth to his, when his hand crawls under her shirt; she gasps and somehow in all its irrationality finds a voice to her doubts.

"No" she says softly, avoiding his eyes. He stares at her,no pretence to cover up his surprise. "I" she moves away from him. "I can't be doing this, not here, not with you" she wants to stay, she does, but the guilt of it all makes it so hard. She turns to leave but he grabs hand and pulls her to face him.

"I don't believe you" he says as he putshis hands on her shoulder.

"Why, why don't you believe me" she says hurt over taking her voice. "Am I that predictable?"

"No" he says pulling his head to her ear to whisper to her "You're that beautiful".

She sees the despair in his eyes, she hears his words, like he means it.

She's back the next night, grinding her hips into his, a month passes, two, three months and it becomes routine to press each other into the wall of a secret alcove, or to fall into the shadows of a deserted room, or once as they leave Care of Magical Creatures, he runs to her telling her it is in an emergency and then he pulls her to the outskirts of the Dark Forest near the lake and makes love to her amongst the ferns and fallen leaves.

He sees her guilt written across her face because he knows this is a betrayal of her friends. He feels it because when he goes to bed and sees his father' and mother's wedding photo or Pansy's portrait, he wonders why he does it. But then he sees her and all he wants to do is to ravish her, to caress her, to love her until something can make sense.

One thing remains sure. She's passionate for Draco now.

* * *

When Draco rushes to her one late Saturday afternoon, dragging her to a secluded spot she knows something has changed. Instead of pulling at her top as fast as he can to expose her to him, he traces her face with his hands. He is slow and soft, like she imagines it in her dreams.

He memorises her.

When they finish,he presses his forehead against hers. Their faces are so close, she can't focus on him properly. Like the first time he kissed her in the library.

"Something's happened" she tells him knowing. He presses his hands to her neck drawing their mouths together. He wants to drown in the lovely girl beneath him.

When he kisses her, it's so soft that for a moment she thinks it is slight warm breeze, but they're inside and that's impossible, so she knows. And she knows that even if he doesn't say it, something big has happened to him.

* * *

The next day when Death Eaters break into Hogwarts to try and get to Dumbledore, Hermione is almost not surprised, almost.

As the screams of the students fill the air, Hermione passes a masked Death Eater. "I'm sorry" the Death Eater mouth's to her and she knows she should send a curse his way or slap him but instead she smiles at him. He stares at her for a moment and then gives her a slight smile, a slight customary smirk. He looks beautiful and if she is ever to live through this she hopes to remember Draco Malfoy as he is now.

They are both oblivious to the screaming and sound of breaking walls. Harry rushes past and seizes Hermione's hand, pulling her forward. She allows herself to be pulled away by him, but just before she rounds the corner she takes one last look at Draco. He stares after her and she knows this is the end.

_Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear._

_-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow _

Fin

**Authors Note: **I HATE SPACING THING. I want more the 2 lines between my paragraphs. Grrr

Calandra is a Greek name meaning Lark. Can't you just imagine Blaise with a pretty young thing? I definitely can, but more importantly I wanted Blaise's relationship to emphasise Draco's lack of relationship before Hermione came along.

I actually really love Pansy and I hated those lines I put in about her being a frilly wall-hanging. Many a time I thought of re-writing her to be more likeable but I'm also lazy, so I didn't do it.

I also made the story darker because I think if war is imminent people aren't going to be running around having a party (as we saw in the fifth Harry Potter book, it was all very serious).

The quotes I found just seemed to fit. The first was from the book Of Love and Shadows by Isabel Allende and the second was from a quote website which I can't remember now. I've never used quotes in any writing before but I got the idea off Emma and thought I would try it.

I hope everyone who ever reads this enjoyed it. Please, please review! I'd love it.

Bella

Oh and if Pixiezombie, my favourite fic writer, who writes my favourite fic ever Adamo Fidelitas ever reads this PLEASE UPDATE! If you haven't read her story I suggest you do. It's a marvel.


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